Ahhh...the question I wish I had the answer to. Kinsley asked me this tonight as I sat down to enter orders. I left her early this morning, got home late, and then had to enter orders once I was home. Bless her heart, I wonder often how abandoned she must feel. This job has began to consume me and it makes me sad for my girls and for me. I LOVE what I do, but I've got to find a way to make it more manageable and stop letting it control me. If I've learned anything over the last three years is that life is too short and God forbid something happen to me, I don't want my girls to just remember me working all the time. I am all for women's liberation, etc. but there are times I wish we could go back to a simpler time when women could afford to stay home and provide for their family from home. I feel so much pressure trying to be it all and do it all. Most moms I know feel the exact same. Of course, I am that person that would always have to have a hobby or career on the side to keep my sanity.
Funny how life brings you to those gut-check moments where you have to decide what is more important. That cross roads where you know once you decide which direction you want to go, you have to travel it as there is no turning back. I see those crossroads quickly approaching and I hope when I reach them, I am prepared and have done enough soul searching to know my answers. At the end of the day, I just want as much time with my daughter's as possible and I don't want to miss a thing. No regrets ten years down the road when I look up and they are
teenagers who are way to cool to hang out with mom.
The answers will come-they always do.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment