Sweet Kade,
You have been pretty still today. You've been in the same position for a week or so now. You stick out really far on my left side and our very far on my right front. I look hilarious! You go right up into my ribs and roll around.
Daddy built your casket and it is beautiful. Seems odd to say beautiful for such an awful situation, but there is so much love in that casket, that you can't help but see the beauty in it. A part of his heart is ingrained in that wood and I know he put his entire heart into creating it.
As your due date draws near, I cherish each and every day with you more and more. I am thankful I've shared this time with you. I am so thankful God blessed me with you-even if you can't stay with me long. You've changed me and my life forever and all for the better.
I know when you get to Heaven you'll be with so many people who also already love you and I know you'll be watching over us. I hope I make you proud and I hope you see everyday how much you are loved and missed. Mommy will be so sad to let you go, but I will rejoice in the thought of you sitting at the feet of the Lord, that you'll hear me when I pray, and that you'll be waiting for me on my judgement day.
I will do all I can and be all I can so that I can be with you in Heaven some day. I wonder often what you'll look like-will you be the baby I love so much or do you grow in Heaven?
I am really struggling with letting you go-I am still so sad and even angry. I know that it will be so much worse when you are born and I see you, hold you, and get to grow attached in whatever time we have you here on earth. I can't even say or write the rest. I can't. It makes it too real.
I love you so much sweet boy and I am so, so sorry I couldn't protect you from this. I'd take your place any day to let you live the life you deserve. I'd give the world to save you.
I love you baby! I love you so, so much!
Goodnight sweet baby!
xoxoxoxo,
Mommy
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment