Miracles Can Happen.....

I subscribe to a post about Victoria, a little girl diagnosed with acrania, who has survived beyond all expectations. From this post, I was linked to a family who delivered a beautiful little girl with anencephaly. Baby Marsela lived for 1 year and 8 months with anencephaly...this is absolutely unheard of and nothing short of the grace of God. Marsela recognized her mother, her mother's voice, was weary of strangers and loud noises. I am not a scientific person, nor do I debate into too many things concerning the life/science debate. However, when I watched Marsela's story, it brought life to so many thoughts and ideas we had about Kade. When the specialist told us we'd be better off aborting, that he could never think or feel things...I understand the science behind his argument. It has taken me years, but I do see why he chooses to look at children as "cases" or as a "fetus." I can't imagine doing what he does everyday and the emotional toll that must take on someone. However, I always felt in my heart that Kade was living and full of life inside me. How can you watch a child sucking his thumb or kicking you inutero and not feel that? Through Marsela's story, I found justification of those feelings and it just reinforced my belief in the choices we made to carry Kade to term. They had almost two years with their beautiful daughter. I'm in no way idealizing those two years-I am sure they were difficult, that Marsela required around the clock full time care, that watching her sick and weak at times was heartbreaking and tough beyond imagination. However, they also loved that little girl with all they had and made the very best they could of the time God gave them with her and I admire them so much for that. How proud God must have been to watch them love His child and protect her all they could for the time they were blessed to have.
I have been angry at God for a long time now. I prayed with all my might that we'd get to meet Kade alive. I was devastated and so lost when Kade was born still. However, as I watched Marsela's story, I suddenly realized God knew what he was doing. I barely survived losing Kade; honestly, there are days I am not sure I have. Had I had any more time with him or cared for him in the hospital, I am sure I would have lost my mind in the following months of his death. His death was the hardest thing I have ever endured and I know in my heart that any more time with him, or watching him fight the common illnesses or heart problems found in babies with birth defects would have been impossible for me. The heartache would have been unbearable. Maybe God knew we were fragile; that we could not handle anymore than what we were already going through. I honestly don't know and will likely never understand all the workings of life and why things happen the way they do. I do know that I found so much hope and love in this story. Why don't we hear stories like this in the news rather than some stupid report on another famous person who's lost their mind??? Makes me so sad that it is crap like that that makes headlines (and helps no one), when there are stories like Marcela's that could help so many people struggling through similar situations.